Nina DiSesa’s Seducing the Boys Club: Uncensored Tactics from a Woman at the Top has surprisingly slipped onto my must-read list. I was a bit reluctant to read another “all guys suck” book. However, the title gave the impression that this was not going to be a “how I beat my head against the glass ceiling” book but more of a “how I beat the boys up the corporate ladder (while wearing high heels and dancing backward)” story. And DiSesa delivers.
Still, the reason this makes my must-read list probably was a matter of circumstance. I was on vacation and had a bunch of novels and magazines to read (My plan was not to tax my brainpower for a week). I read Seducing the Boys Club first because I liked the title. I was surprised to find that it reads a bit like chick lit, is at times humorous and actually delivers some fresh takes on how to deal with the old boys’ club. It was also a behind-the-scenes look at life in an ad agency (Think The Devil Wears Prada from the boss’s point of view, but with more of a plot and minus the annoying designer name-dropping). It was also interesting to read real-life stories about some memorable ad campaigns. Now that the writers are finished striking, the somewhat tepid Cashmere Mafia and Lipstick Jungle could benefit from of DiSesa’s obviously real, yet wacky, story lines.
DiSesa jumps right in and states matter-of-factly that the old boys’ club exists, so deal with it. No time is wasted on whining about how it hurt her career. When it comes to men, she says, “We have to seduce them without sex and manipulate them without malice. And we must like them.” She’s simply pointing out that if anyone (man or woman) knows you don’t like him or her, he or she is not going to like you.
This started the book off on a good note for me because, like DiSesa, I have always liked working with men. Despite my founding a company to help women in the workplace, I was guilty in an earlier career of firing an entirely female staff and hiring men because they were easier for me (and the rest of the old boys I worked with) to deal with. Ironically, my present company, the Downtown Women’s Club, was founded while I was working for a few of the oldest old boys in Boston, with their complete support and backing. I can’t recall getting anything but opposition from many of the senior women in town at the time (There were, of course, some amazing exceptions to this). DiSesa ends the intro by offering three lessons she’s learned:
- Always “read” the room (You’re less likely to step in excrement);
- Don’t wallow in anxiety (It makes you weak); and
- Don’t confuse seduction with sex (One is a brilliant business tactic; the other isn’t).
The rest of the book follows her climb from entry level to the top at McCann, Erickson.
What I liked most is that she doesn’t pull punches (I’m sure more than one gentleman featured in the book probably has her face on his dartboard), and she doesn’t hide some of the bigger mistakes she made (even when it involved having a gusher of a nosebleed in the middle of a presentation–which she refused to leave despite making the clients queasy).
Through her adventures, misadventures and successes, we learn how to play office politics. I can see more than one female reader cringe at her recommendation to seduce (not sexually) and manipulate men. Yes, manipulation for the wrong reasons can be dreadful. But, as DiSesa points out, “Most people don’t mind being ‘handled’ as long as you don’t hurt them and (you) act magnanimously. They won’t resent you for manipulating them if you give them something in return.” One caveat here: She is in the advertising business, which manipulates consumers, so she’s gotta be a fan of manipulation.
Top Shelf Bottom Line: While Seducing the Boys Club focuses on a corporate environment, I think it’s relevant to entrepreneurs because she’s mostly in leadership roles throughout the book. And if you’re a female entrepreneur in a mostly male industry, you may be hiring good old boys or facing off with them across the negotiating table.
Of note in DiSesa’s conclusion are the five classic mistakes women make when we find ourselves leading the boys:
- We get drunk with power;
- We stop reading the room;
- We become real witches;
- We take the reins and don’t make rain; and
- We forget that we have to be better than men.
This is a great book for all women to read or for anyone interested in what working in an ad agency is really like (or before you think about hiring an ad agency).
This entry was posted on Saturday, February 9th, 2008 at 11:12 am and is filed under Nonfiction. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.2 Responses to “Seduction in the Office”
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February 9th, 2008 at 11:59 am
I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you.
Peter Quinn
February 25th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Diane, I’m mostly with you here. I’m reading Nina’s book now (almost done). I actually hated it at first. It seemed pretty demeaning to women - I mean, why do we have to use seduction and manipulation to get ahead? But, as I keep reading, I find myself nodding my head in agreement and understanding that Nina gets it better than most women - it isn’t seduction for seduction’s sake, or manipulation to gain something you don’t deserve - it’s life. It’s the way the world works.
When I’m done, I’ll do my review on Lip-sticking and I already know I’m highly recommending this book. (and, yes, I am finding a lot of really great humor in it, too!)