Top Shelf Reading Picks:

I received Blogging Heroes: Interviews with 30 of the World’s Top Bloggers by Michael A. Banks as a freebie at the BlogHer Business Conference last month. Since I was in the midst of rethinking the Downtown Women’s Club blog, I figured it might be helpful to read what the experts had to say.

While there are no “secrets” or “shortcuts” to successful blogging–most of the material boiled down to “write good content and hopefully readers will find you”–it was helpful to learn from others’ experiences. However, much of the material seemed redundant by the 20th interview.

Nevertheless, there were occasional thought-provoking points. For example, PR people are really missing the boat when they assume bloggers are similar to traditional journalists. Bloggers generally are writing in their own voice on topics that interest them. They’re allowed to have biases and preferences. Traditional journalists, on the other hand, are mercenary in that most of the time they’re writing a story their editor told them to write or that they are being paid by a client to write.

Another point to ponder is that almost none of the most popular blogs started out with a goal of being the most popular blog. They were just individuals writing on topics in which they had an interest or expertise.

Some of the blogs discussed in the book were BoingBoing, Scobleizer, LifeHacker, The Long Tail, Gizmodo, and ParentDish. While the bloggers and blog topics greatly differed, there were some consistent themes.

• Good content makes for a good blog. Hype without content won’t work.
• Find a niche topic that you are passionate about and stay focused on it.
• Grow a thick skin because people will criticize you. Be professional in your response (even if it’s a personal blog).
• Don’t put yourself under pressure thinking you have to have a successful blog right away. Take some time to find your voice and focus.
• Don’t promote your blog until you’ve been up and running a bit.
• Blogging can take less time than you think. You can do a little bit every day or write a bunch of posts for future use.
• Don’t write about what you’re trying to sell; write about what you know.
• Most successful bloggers read and comment on other blogs.
• Link, link, link.
• Allow comments; reader feedback is part of becoming a popular blog.
• Unless you have a good reason, don’t hide your identity. People like to relate to the people behind the blogs.
• Blogging is more intimate and conversational than print media.
• Those who have the best writing and work the hardest are usually the most successful.
• Growth does not happen quickly.
• Be original.
• If you go into blogging with the idea that you’ll make a fortune, you’ll be frustrated.

The Top Shelf Bottom Line: If you’re looking to start a blog or, like me, revisiting an existing blog, it’s a worthwhile read to get a gist of what the blogosphere is all about.

I just had to get my hot little hands on Christopher V. Flett’s book, What Men Don’t Tell Women About Business: Opening Up the Heavily Guarded Alpha Male Playbook, after it was labeled controversial and lumped in with Nina DiSesa’s Seducing the Boys Club (a previous Top Shelf “must read” pick - click here for my review). And, Flett was nice enough to send me one personally.

Now, here’s the thing. I liked the book. A lot. I’m just not sure what all the hoo-haa was about.

As promised, Flett gives us a view of business from the Alpha Male perspective. Having spent the first two-thirds of my career running with the Alpha Males, it’s dead-on. So I am a bit surprised that people find their behavior shocking.

Now, before the angry emails start, let me just say that like Flett, I’m not condoning this behavior or even endorsing it. It is simply a fact of doing business in today’s world where Alpha Males still run the show. Will they run the show forever? Hopefully not, as information and execution is usurping influence, and we’re warming up to the Obama style of leadership. But, in the meantime, Gordon Gecko’s “greed is good” is still the big biz mantra, and if you want to play with the big boys, and don’t get that, then you need to read this book (or at least rent Wall Street and The Godfather Trilogy).

There is so much in the book that’s ripe for discussion, but here are just a few that caught my attention:

• Women are busy networking while men are building powerful networks. Now, as the founder of a women’s network, I could’ve taken this personally and slammed the book down and called it ridiculous. But, then I would be acting like the silly female with whom most alpha males wouldn’t want to do business. The truth is that I wholeheartedly agree with Flett on this issue. I created the DWC networking platform so that women would have opportunities to build themselves a powerful network. Yet, I continue to see women mistaking the networking organization/platform for a “network” when in fact, it’s simply the catalyst (I’d like to think a necessary one!). The women who get this are the ones join the networks to find others with whom to build their own powerful network.
• On a related note, Flett points out that men and women build networks differently. Men don’t need to like the person to do business with them. They just need to know they can deliver.
• Some of the controversy stemmed from Flett using the term “breeders” for women who have children and inconvenience the office with their special needs. While crass, the point he’s making is that if you handle your pregnancy and family obligations in a professional manner - so that it doesn’t cause more work for others than is absolutely necessary - then you can avoid being labeled a breeder. He even provides tips on how to do this.
• Women give too much information. Not only did he discuss this in the context of women not knowing how to keep company secrets, he also makes some very good points about how women could get away with a lot more if they didn’t announce that they were late because the baby got sick/had to go to the doctors, etc. Just walk in, apologize without saying why, state that it won’t happen again and leave it at that! Use a similar strategy when you have to leave early. I long ago discovered that I could leave anytime I wanted to play golf or soccer (meaning I’m the one actually playing, not my kid) with no consequences. But, if I mentioned that it was for a kid thing … it wouldn’t matter how long I’d been outperforming everyone, I’d be right back on Mommy track.
• The difference between Alpha and Beta Males. Alpha Males are the top dogs, the rainmakers, and generally the ones who call all the shots. The Beta Males are of two sorts. The first group wants to be Alphas, but can’t (and aren’t too happy about it). The second group doesn’t want to be Alphas and are content to play a support role. The business world needs both Alphas and Betas, and the Alphas know this. What was interesting to me here is that Flett warns women to be wary of the unhappy Beta Male. They are much more dangerous than Alphas. In fact, when not sucking up to the Alphas, they are malicious bullies to everyone else, especially women. I was fascinated to go back through my career history and found that while Alpha Males liked me and were my biggest supporters, it was always Beta Males and a certain type of Alpha Female with whom I would clash.
• Speaking of Alpha Females. As an Alpha Female, I think Flett hit it on the head. It’s only the unhappy Beta Males (i.e. Alpha wannabes) who are intimidated by an Alpha Female. The Alpha Males don’t mind her if she’s useful, although they are always wondering whether she’s the real deal or is she going to sabotage herself and/or other women in the office. (On a side note, a few of my Alpha Female friends concurred with me that our best personal relationships were with Beta Males of the nicer type, i.e., the ones who would never want to be an Alpha! Who knew Flett’s book could help with dating too?)
• Men will help a guy when he’s down, women will stomp on other women. Throughout the book, Flett points out how women will attack other women even if it means that they themselves go down in flames O.k., that may be a bit extreme, but I can’t disagree. See my comments about Charlotte Allen, who wrote an editorial in the Washington Post about “Why women are dumb.” No man would’ve thrown their entire gender under the bus for sport as she did. Women will still be their own worst enemy most of the time, and the Alpha Males know this and therefore keep their distance, and actually enjoy the spectacle.
• Flett had some good insights into how to communicate with Alpha Males. Ironically, it was somewhat duplicative of DiSesa’s controversial advice with regard to stroking their egos while making your point so that they can save face. Yet, DiSesa, as a woman, got criticized for recommending “flirting” and using sex for basically doing what Flett recommends. (Of course, some of that might be due to the title of the book, but most of that criticism seemed to come from other women … some of whom never even read the book. hmmmm.)

There are way too many other points to mention here. But I’ll close with one that hit home.

• Why do men like dealing with other men? Because there is no drama. I couldn’t agree with Flett more. Although I think it’s more the “fear of drama” as not all women are going to cause drama. It’s just unfortunate that our entire gender gets labeled based on the actions of a drama queen or two. But, this stems back to the basic problem the Alpha Male has, which is that he doesn’t understand women. This means that he is never sure how they might react to something, and therefore it’s simply easier to deal with men who will react predictably and in the same manner as they would.

Top Shelf Bottom Line: I’m adding this one to my must-read list for women (and Beta Males) who want to build successful companies. As you grow your company, you will no doubt run into a few Alpha Males along the way. They may be financing you, working for you, or negotiating with you. And when you do, it will help you to understand their thought process. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with their thought process, but it gives you a huge advantage when you know what someone thinks about you. Hence the phrase, “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.”

Even if, like me, you think you know it all, it’s still a useful book. Despite the fact that I had a good bead on the Alpha Male all those years, Flett really helped me understand the problems I’ve had working with unhappy Beta Male types. In fact, I couldn’t help but think back to grammar school when the Alpha Males were picking teams at recess. If the game was soccer or kickball, I was always picked before most of the boys because the Alpha Males didn’t care what gender I was as long as I delivered. Based on Flett’s book this scenario hasn’t changed much.

Of course, there is still discrimination and a gender gap and a whole lot of bad stuff that result from this Alpha Male attitude. But resolving that was not Flett’s goal with this book, he just wanted to start a dialogue.

In any event, I’d like to offer the one piece of advice that helped me succeed when I worked among the Alpha Males. Only work for Alpha Males who have daughters (especially older ones). It’s amazing how their view of the world changes the first time somebody slams a door in their own daughter’s face.

For more from Christopher V. Flett, check out his interview with my partner, Anita Bruzzese on our BlogTalkRadio show – “Smash the Ladder.”

When I received an advance copy of Peggy Klaus’ new book, The Hard Truth about Soft Skills: Workplace Lessons Smart People Wish They’d Learned Sooner, I figured it was worth a gander. I’ve met Klaus, and she is an energizer who is not afraid to scream and yell and push people’s limits. I know this because I once ran a workshop at a conference right next door to Klaus. Apparently, I had drawn the short end of the stick because the other speakers knew that her crew would be bragging out loud… very loud.

Now I just wish that energy had transferred over to the book. While it is chock full of info, it was a bit scattered for me and some of the real “punchy” points were diluted and buried. I also had to keep checking back to the title/subtitle to see why these bits of advice were all interconnected. I’m not sure the title’s use of “Soft Skills” was the best description. Maybe it could have been titled “People Skills: How to Present Your Best Self So That Others Want to Play With You.” As that’s pretty much what this was about: skills that will help you deal with other people.

However, the whole scattershot approach abruptly disappears in chapter six, where she launches into a chapter on “Branding and Bragging.” All of a sudden, it’s the Peggy Klaus aka “Brag Lady” with whom I was familiar. The writing was better, the flow much smoother, and the energy was back and carried over into the final chapters on gender, generations and leadership.

As for the “soft skills,” there were some good points in the first two-thirds of the book, such as:

• “I swear if I hear one more person say [follow your passion], I’m going off a Swiss Alp.” This is the Klaus I like who tells it like it is. Following your passion is no guarantee of success. Sure, it makes it easier if your business involves some bit of your passion, but it involves a whole lot more than that. (Note: A good book about how you can work passion into your worklife is Career Bliss: Secrets from 100 Women Who Love Their Work by Joanne Gordon.)

• “If you want to stay competitive and ahead of the game, keep your hard skills sharp. Making this happen is not your employer’s responsibility, it’s yours.” Now this is one statement that I would jump up and down and shout about because every day I run into people, including entrepreneurs, who refuse to learn technology. There was an interesting article in The New York Times recently about how technology laggards still add value to the innovation process. But if you’re an entrepreneur, you should have a leading mindset rather than “nooooo, don’t make me learn something new.”

• “If you find yourself having to defend yourself and make an argument for why your behavior is really OK, then you’ve probably crossed what I’ve called the IC Divide–the IC here stands for integrity and character.”
• She has some good takes on risks, listening, grammar, apologizing and saying thank you.

Top Shelf Bottom Line: There were some good refreshers in here re: what she calls “soft skills.” These seem to be skills that help you be your best self and convey that and/or converse with others. But as stated above, you need to pull out relevant tidbits from the first two-thirds of the book and hang on until the last third of the book. The last third is the best part and includes info on creating your personal brand, bragging, generations and leadership. So if you didn’t read her first book, Brag!: The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn without Blowing It, and you need a book to motivate you to get more proactive in promoting yourself, it’s worth picking up.

I picked Gordon Patzer’s Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined out of my review pile because it struck a nerve with me as a huge cultural issue. In his book, he focuses on “lookism,” as he calls it, from all different angles: in the family, the schools, the beauty industry and TV news. Yet what does it have to do with business?

When it comes to your career, he sums it up in a chapter chock full of studies that conclude that if you are “good-looking” or even “tall,” you have a better chance of landing that job, getting a higher salary over your lifetime and getting promoted more than an average or “PA-challenged” (physically attractive-challenged) colleague. However, if you are good-looking and mess up, you can expect to fall farther and harder. There were also subtleties, in that an attractive woman will have a harder time getting a masculine-oriented job. Yet attractive women are more likely to get a job that involves face-to-face contact with clients, unless it is a woman doing the hiring.

He even has data about how good-looking execs created more income than the cost to their companies of having to pay them higher wages. For the lawyers in the audience, maybe Denny Crane on Boston Legal had a point about hiring only attractive lawyers at Crane, Poole & Schmidt. Patzer reports that they tend to fare better in court.

I’m sure there’s nothing new here for anyone who went to high school. The pretty girls are popular, the handsome athletes get the pretty girls. The rest of us count the minutes until we go to much larger, diverse colleges and universities, and ultimately into the workforce, where brains come a bit more into play. Yet it doesn’t change much even there, according to Patz’s resesarch.

Patzer does cover the dark side of beauty, from plastic surgery to eating disorders. Yet his conclusion to the book is a bit depressing: “Good looks make a difference today and most likely always will.”

I suppose one way to conquer lookism is to have a more diverse point of view as to what constitutes good looks. One wonders why, with our 500 channels on TV and our ability to connect globally over the web, we still have a Ken and Barbie view of beauty. Perhaps if we had a larger variety of what people find attractive, we might be able to spread the looks around more.

Top Shelf Bottom Line: It’s a depressing read, but sometimes we need to read the unpleasant stuff that makes us squirm. As for entrepreneurs? It looks like the beauty or anti-aging industry might be the way to go.

To hear more from Gordon Patzer, listen in to my new blogtalkradio show, Smash the Ladder, with Anita Bruzzese and Diane K. Danielson. Click here to listen to Anita’s interview of Patzer.

Seth Godin’s Small Is the New Big: and 183 Other Riffs, Rants, and Remarkable Business Ideas is a hodgepodge of his ideas and blog posts that seems disconnected, but there is a common theme through it all–treat customers and others with respect, and that is the secret to success. Sure, he talks about the advantages a small business might have: less bureaucracy, the ability to adapt quickly and be the new, new thing. Yet, it all comes back to what Aretha Franklin said: “R-E-S-P-E-C-T .Find out what it means to me.”

There are too many tidbits for me to recall and, since I listened to the audio in my car, I don’t have my trusty Post-its marking my favorite parts. However, I’ll point out a few that stood out. Note to readers: Seth read his own book, which I kind of liked as it felt like you were having a random conversation with him. In a similar vein, I previously enjoyed Sen. Barack Obama reading The Audacity of Hope and former president Bill Clinton reading My Life. Sometimes the voice can make or break an audio. I’ve listened to a few subpar chick lit books solely because I enjoyed the English accent of the reader. Or in the case of The Abstinence Teacher, I got a chill when Campbell Scott’s voice boomed out of my speakers. He was perfectly matched to the material.

Sure, I digress, although not really. A lot of what Seth talks about in Small is the New Big is the importance of the delivery of services and goods, whether it’s packaging, marketing or the actual product. As an example, note that I call him Seth. After listening to his monologue for the past two weeks in my car, I feel that we should be on a first-name basis. One example he uses of how the delivery of a message is almost as important as the message focuses on how JetBlue started selling a “safe journey.” The company simply redid its announcements in the airport. Rather than the garbled shouting, it trained gateway attendants to speak clearly and calmly, which can put otherwise cranky passengers in a much better frame of mind before boarding an aircraft with no food, no leg room and too many people putting oversized luggage into the overhead bin. (Thinking like Seth, I would say that airlines need to focus on the better delivery of checked baggage in order to increase their numbers of on-time flights. It’s the fear of waiting for, or losing, luggage that prompts too many people to take all their worldly possessions with them, slowing down boarding for everyone).

The JetBlue airline example hit home with me on one of my recent trips on USAir, which had the equivalent of an old-fashioned schoolmarm making the boarding announcements. She made clear when you would board, which side of the rope to walk on, and that you would be sent to the back of the line should you break the rules. Among the giggles of the business travelers who were undoubtedly having flashbacks to grammar school, we all marveled as the attendant ensured the quickest boarding of a flight I have ever experienced. Message from Seth: Setting the tone and people’s expectations can be done even if it’s with your tone of voice. This is what I remind myself as I start every customer service response with “Thank you for calling/writing.”

I also agree wholeheartedly with his statement that anonymity is the death of civilization. Anyone who regularly reads blogs has undoubtedly experienced the many irrelevant and useless comments of “anonymous.” There is a reason local newspapers only run letters to the editor if they are signed and verified–it helps maintain civility if you have to look your neighbors in the eye and stand behind your opinions. Unfortunately, we’ve created a world where people don’t need to know their neighbors anymore. This means less accountability and less civility. More on how our suburban sprawl has helped create a less accountable world in my review of Nine Shift.

Another interesting point was that Seth disagrees with Tim Ferriss, author of The 4-Hour Work Week. Ferriss advises you to read only items and sections of items that are relevant to your work. Seth, on the other hand, proclaims that you should read something different and not relevant every week. Thanks Seth, I’ll feel better about keeping my subscription to US Weekly–I’m not sure you can get less relevant than that.

However, Seth agrees with Ferriss in his analysis of how Americans have confused working hard with working long. In other words, working hard is getting up at 4:30 a.m. and plowing the fields; working long is a lawyer sitting at a desk in an air-conditioned office for 20 hours a day living on take-out sushi. He touches on the idea that there is no glory in working long; it just means you’re working long.

I’ll end with a few comments about his section on “respectful marketing.” Since marketing and branding are my business loves, I found it amusing that “respectful marketing” often is seen as an oxymoron. Which brings us back to Aretha. Consumers are smart. They know when you don’t respect them. And, if your product needs to mislead consumers or “pull the wool over their eyes” to get them to buy, then you need to rethink your product. Seth’s test of a good product? Imagine an equal marketplace between you and your competitors. Would people still buy your product? If not, it’s time to rethink your business plan.

Top Shelf Bottom Line: While this was not my favorite Seth Godin book, he does put in some good tidbits–so worth listening to especially if you’re in a customer-service business. But then again, aren’t we all in the business of customer service? Each person will walk away with something different, and you can read it or listen to it in bits and starts. I’d love to hear in our comments below what captured your attention.

We were honored to be recognized on the blog Living Life Abundantly as a Top 50 blog for 2007. Oprah–watch out. Maybe we’ll be able to help contribute to making some overlooked business books into bestsellers.

Keep the comments and book suggestions coming.